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| Forgiveness is the key to healing... |
The year 2013 was not that kind to me despite there are some good things happened to me but not entirely. I was bedridden for almost a year because of sickness I got from my recklessness. Hospital became a running point to me, our family finances slowly declining and some problems that my family is facing. I felt hopeless that it seemed God has not answered my prayers and instead of improving myself, self-confidence was almost down and sometimes my faith to Him came into jeopardy. But still, my family and friends never gave up on me and everyday they tried to bring me back to life. Self-motivation was lacking from me. As the year came to close, I tried to motivate myself and reflect, think and pray again. There were moments I questioned God ‘Why me?’ but suddenly my dad came and talked to me heart-to-heart. For the past years, I had rifts and misunderstanding with my parents especially with my dad, I was so very unforgiving and my pride truly hurt me so much but my dad was still there to me to understand, to love and care for me and a strong support despite being a hard-headed son. Suddenly I came to realization all the wrongdoings and hurt I have caused pain to him. I gradually realized my mistakes and dawned upon me that my attitude will not get into nowhere.
Sometime in the year 2013’s last quarter, I lowered my pride and humbly talked to my father. I opened myself and felt so ashamed of myself. My dad told me that he understood what I have gone through and told me all the things that I have never heard from him: all the pain and problems he’s facing. He is not a ‘Superman’in the sense because like any other father, he has shortcomings though he was trying to fill our needs and be there for us siblings. I uttered things that I have never spoken to my father until I came to the point of forgiving myself and forgiving my father.
Forgiveness came gradually to me because I realized that if I can’t forgive myself first I won’t be able to attain healing of my spirit, mind and heart. From then on, I tried to digest every advice he gave me and understood him. That is for the good of myself and for healing that I was praying to God. And as the year came to close, I made a simple resolution for myself: to forgive, to understand and to add more patience.
As the year 2014 has begun…forgiveness becomes my target. Kung wala akong pagpapatawad sa sarili ko, walang himala ang mangyayari at mahihirapan akong magpatawad sa iba. Kung aking babaan ang aking pagiging maka-sarili, unti-unti kong madadama ang kagalingan ng aking kaluluwa at paghilom ng puso kong nasugatan and as Our Lord beautifully puts forgiveness into prayer: “Forgive our sins as we forgive those who sinned against us..(Matthew 6:12).
I really thank the Lord that I still celebrated Christmas and New Year with my family. This is such a big miracle for me that I longed waited! I praise and thank God for this! Now, I looked forward with much hope, still recuperating my health that was deteriorated, and seeking spiritual healing. With my whole family as my strong support I will not fear anymore. My faith to God is coming to spring time again after that misty winter of my life, to change my views in life and to become healthier. There will still be shortcomings that I will face but with all the best and faith restored to Him, He will strengthens me... "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" (Philippians 4:13). I hope this short post-reflection I made somehow helped you realize to love your family and friends more than you can do despite their shortcomings and love God the Almighty, the Life-giver and serve Him with much willingness. I wish everyone a Blessed, Prosperous and Happy New Year to all!
